aestheticallypleasing asked: Caution is spelled correctly. I don't get what you're talking about lol.

that’s the joke.

in the past two days i’ve had near brushes with death AND sex.

Friday I go to ATT about a bill. There’s a DMV right across from the ATT store. An older woman jumps the curb onto the sidewalk and hits this other older woman dead on in front of the store. Nothing happened to the store itself but it DID make things complicated for the staff. However, my bill was resolved and my phone was re:activated.

Later that day I meet up with an old… let’s say an old friend who should’ve been an old “friend” but wasn’t. Tell me how we end up T-boning a truck in the middle of a 4-way crossing. Situation was resolved but the fact that this was all because of the driver getting wrapped up in emotions to the point where we were put in danger doesn’t sit well with me. Thinking about it, I should’ve just whipped it out on some “you put my life in danger, this is the LEAST you could do” shit.

Later on that night (remember, this is all in the same Friday) I go to a frat party in the biggest house on the campus. Skipped the price because one of my friends is a member of the frat that owns it. Fuck networking for a second, it’s about being a good person. Okay, the story… we get in, we’re vibing, drinking, this one girl throws me on the couch and starts giving me a lapdance… as well as her room’s location and some other stuff. She was in HEAT… and I could tell because she was licking my face. Now this could go one of two ways; either I respond in kind and leave her walking distorted at the end of the night OR I leave it alone and chill out.

Yeah.

I left it alone. She wasn’t the one I wanted. Someone is gonna give me the “a mouth is a mouth, pussy is pussy” argument but remember that they’re not living my life and I like to shoot as high as possible. Not like vagina is gold anyway. So either I’m insane by masculine standards, picky or… something. Haven’t completely figured that part out yet.

Anyway, the resolution is that life has been restored to some sense of normalcy. My phone works, I have my health, and I’m no worse off than when I started. So it’s been a good weekend.

Sidenote: the day after all this happened, one of my aquaintances tells me that a girl he remembered from his job (barista in Starbucks) asked him “how do you know me? did I fuck you last week?”

Yeah. Let that marinate for a moment and get back to me.

ant.